And…she lives.

I’m going to do my best to keep this short and sweet without getting into any bloody details, but please excuse me if it’s longer than necessary. I finally had the surgery on the 14th. The first date had to be rescheduled because I had an allergic reaction to the antibiotic they wanted to start me before the surgery. So yeah…they pushed it to the 14th. On the day of the surgery, they took me in at 8.45 AM and I opened my eyes around 5 PM. We were all expecting it to last around 1 hour or tops 2 since it wasn’t invasive and should’ve been what they called an “easy” procedure, but it took more than 6 hours.

Anyway, I lived to tell the tale as you can see 🙂 But, they can’t say for sure that the surgery was a success. Oh, guys, the words they choose to use, ah they are killing me here. Five days after the surgery, they took another CT scan because they couldn’t go in through my nose (with a handy little camera attached to something) to check things out. Because they do that–go in through your nose and all the way up there *shivers* (I’m sure you were very curious about that) After looking at the scan, they said there is nothing to be “afraid” of. That’s the worst word they could use, all I’m focusing on is “afraid”. I mean why the hell not say something along the lines…the surgery worked, everything looks good. You’ll have to be careful for a long time, but yeah it’s over now, be happy. Nope. No one is using those words. Also, call me ignorant, but I never knew you could push a tampon through your nose all the way up to your brain region (or something that looks like a long LONG cotton thingy. That was the absolute worst thing that happened after I woke up. I could hardly sit down as they pulled that thing oh-so-slowly. And I had no idea, absolutely no fucking idea that something was in there for 2 whole days. I thought it was just in my nose…

I guess that was more than what you wanted to know about the surgery. I’m doing better. Some days are pretty close to normal, but somedays like today some unexpected thing happens. Today, I was having trouble breathing. It felt like there wasn’t enough air–not through my nose, not through my mouth (almost similar to a panic attack, but not exactly) and I started panicking that something was wrong and it made it worse. But I’m better. Still a little difficult to breathe to be honest, I keep taking deep breaths. I still wanted to write this post for a few days now and I promised myself that I would do it today.

Now, the most important reason I wanted to write this post… Some of you commented on my blog post, some of you sent me emails, some of you sent Facebook messages, some of you did all that more than once, and I can’t tell you how happy each and every one of them made me. Some of you I’ve never heard from before and that makes it even more…mind-blowing? That you would care. They lifted me up when I needed them the most. I couldn’t reply (I’m going to start doing that slowly), but I read each and every one and it was the best thing. The absolute best. So thank you! Thank you for thinking of me. Thank you for all the best wishes. Thank you for all the positivity. Thank you for being so damn nice. Thank you for caring. And (my favorite) thank you for keeping me company when I needed it the most.

Also…before I go, I’m happy that the surgery and the probing part is over, but they’re not letting me go back home for another two weeks–to my dog (my beautiful baby) because they’re afraid of infection. So, I keep crying every now and then when I think about her because she’s been anxious and sick without me too and it kills me that I’m not there to take care of her. I know I should focus on myself and get better so I can be with her again, but it’s hard–staying away from her. We shared 10 years together, and we’ve been apart from each other maybe once or twice. It’s really hard. Anyway, I’m getting emotional for no damn reason again, so I should end this.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! For being who you are, for being there for me.

PS. Damn…this is nowhere near short. I’m not aloud to talk too much, so I guess it all came out here. I’m sorry for taking so much of your time. *face palm*

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